Fun With Spam, Part 2

I don’t have a site counter on the Blue Night blog, so I don’t know how many people read it.

That’s part of the fun. Really? You have never put a message in a bottle and thrown it into the sea, or tied it to a balloon? The law of averages says you’ll never get an answer. Other than contributing to global pollution, that’s not really why you put out the message in the first place. The point is the act of sending the message.

I do know how many times a day this blog gets spammed.

I’m a little sad that I’m not getting the quality stream-of-consciousness spam I used to see. Sure, I can use alpha-numeric gibberish and recycled advertising. I miss the old stuff – the kind that can go straight to formatting for artists’ books, it’s so absurdly earnest and full of awkward English. C’mon, guys, you’re slipping up on my generated text-farm operation, here.

But moderating the contributions has shown me some other sad failings of typical spam texts.

1) I can see who you are. No matter how fervent, enthusiastic, or engaging your comments, I know they are spam just by their originating code. Let’s face it, a ‘replica’ handbag seller out of Hong Kong has very little reason to comment on this blog. Therefore, you are likely a purveyor of malware. That pesky law of averages, again.

2) You say that to all the girls. Spammers use text macros because it’s faster than typing individual messages. These macros show up in searches. A handy hint for new bloggers who might waver over some particularly pithy and seemingly-appropriate comment: check it first via Google Search. Simply drag your cursor over the text and select it. Then click the right-hand mouse button (or equivalent) and select the menu line that says ‘Search Google for <selected text>. If the exact copy or a permutation shows up as a comment on other blogs, it’s more than likely spam.

(Unrelated handy hint: this is also a great way to research urban legends, folklore, and those ‘inspirational’ internet stories that just seem too spooky or heartwarming to not be true. Highlight text, select, Google Search, yadda yadda. Or just go to Snopes.com and start there, because at least one of your search results will go there anyway.)

I apologize for the one-tenth-of-one-percent of ‘real’ comments that might get mixed into spam, and from there consigned into the Pits of Oblivion. I love the Real People who comment here, and I hope to make this place a regular time-wasting spot for their internet rounds.

Oh, and a text-generation resource for me and other book artists.

 

4 Comments on "Fun With Spam, Part 2"


  1. Woman! You’re supposed to be writing, not trolling for trolls. Or cyber android trolls.

    I think I empty my spam folder once a week, but now you make me think I should be saving them to mine for plot bunnies.


  2. I am writing. This is a dummy post I wrote earlier and saved for the occasion.

    As for spam, how can you go wrong with gems like: “Camaraderie relates to the golden thread the fact neckties your hearts pores and skin country.”

    Honestly, I cannot make this stuff up.


  3. The next time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this 1. I mean, I know it was my selection to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you ever werent too busy searching for attention.


    1. Aw shucks, and you thought I might approve you just to mock you? Well, Fake Jordans huckster, you will get no linkback from me. And I get to mock you. I’m allowing your post through because it’s hilariously transparent, and because I feel like snapping at the pretty red meat tonight.

      Your comment showed up verbatim 35 times on a Google search. So your pique is not even original.

      Consider yourself mocked. Please go take some remedial English classes.

Comments are closed.