…but will enough people listen?
I found out about Mark Oshiro while he was posting about reading ‘Twilight’ a few years ago. His blog has been a semi-regular stop for me ever since. So I had some name recognition in place, when a friend emailed me and said, “You know how you said you were unsure about attending writers’ conventions in Those Four States?* You need to read this thing from Mark Oshiro.”
Here is what Mr. Oshiro wrote about his and his partner’s experience at one recent Midwestern science fiction convention. Summary: asshats show their true colors at a Kansas City convention. Whole link here:
https://m.facebook.com/markdoesstuff/posts/1055796457774855.
Please go read. Prepare for some genuinely triggering stuff. You don’t even have to come back here, honestly.
***
But if you did come back, thanks. What happened to Mark and Baize shouldn’t have happened. It should have been addressed immediately. He shouldn’t have had to speak out now about it, but I’m glad he did. Much as I research publishers, I research conventions…who has a good rep, who doesn’t, and why. Thanks to Mark, I now know that I won’t be attending that particular convention while the principals are still running it. I won’t be attending other nearby regional conventions with overlapping personnel. I’m not really surprised by the story, because I’ve heard so many similar ones.
From SFF and romance convention attendees alike. To the point that I’ve applied some probably unfair stereotyping of my own, in deciding that media and writers’ conventions in Those Four States (Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri) are probably off limits to me. If I won a lottery tomorrow and travel costs were not an issue…I probably wouldn’t change my decision.
I get told, rightfully so: ‘That’s unfair. We have lovely, diverse people at X convention or Y festival! By not attending, you are letting the bad people win!”
True. I know some good people in those places. I’d love to visit them. There is a large romance convention in Texas* and an even bigger SFF gathering in Kansas City that I should attend for career reasons. (Except that the romance con has a dismal record respecting M/M romance authors, and I’m not sure I’m at the professional level to go to the SFF con yet. *Mea culpa. That romance convention has moved to another region this year. But it still has an awful record.)
By not attending, I’m not validating some indefensible behavior from con committees who keep getting away with this shit, and use fans and sane staffers as their human shields. I’m not paying into the tax coffers of hotels, cities, and corrupt hypocritical legislatures who still seem to be stuck in Pre-Civil Rights America. By myself, I’m a nobody, and I only have power over what I personally spend and buy.
But if enough of us writing and fandom nobodies make our voices known, maybe things will change.
***
Added 2-24-2016: Addressing some specific points of Mark’s statement, some follow-ups from other people who don’t wish to ‘get dragged into the drama’, and my own experiences at SFF conventions.
How the fuck do we in fandom get beyond the pervasive Breendoggle/Look The Other Way/Get The Stick Outta Yer Ass mentality that equates ‘open-mindedness’ with ‘available for harassment’? Why, in the words of John Oliver, is this still a Thing?
I don’t know Selina Rosen. She sounds like a fun person and a great writer, and we have some intersecting interests. I personally don’t care if she pulls her pants down in public or at a convention panel. I don’t care if she’s going commando underneath. I don’t care if she mimes deep-throating a microphone while on a publishing panel.
The area where *I* would be uncomfortable is the repeated and unwanted body contact Mark Oshiro mentioned. That would be the same, no matter the gender of the person initiating the contact.
Extroverts and party people, please understand: some of us are very particular about who we touch, why, and when. We may be asexual. We may be working through some PTSD issues, or have some nerve sensitivity problems. We may, frankly, just not want to be pawed over that day, and you may just not meet our standards.
When unwanted physical contact is done repeatedly, when the instigator knows there is a problem? Really, they should be able to goddamn TELL by body language! Did we bump back? Hug back? Or are we frozen and trying to ignore when you act like a dog humping our leg in public? Little clues, yanno? Stop doing the touching. Please.
Don’t turn it around on us by claiming that we’re uptight wet blankets, and that we shouldn’t be at that convention or party in the first place. Don’t say anything like: ‘Well, she/she/they write fantasy/romance/whatever, so they should be more open-minded.” There is a thing called consent. We are not what we write or what we wear.
Just as Cosplay is not Permission To Harass, our reluctance to engage with you doesn’t mean we want to ruin your con weekend. Just go find someone else to do the old bump-n-grind with.
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