In writing, art…really, in life, rejection happens. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, our efforts don’t match with what the other side needs or wants.
How we address those rejections can have a vast impact on our future efforts, our risk-taking, and well-earned self esteem. Here are some tips I’ve learned in some 30-odd years of lobbing projects out into the wild blue yonder, and getting (mostly) rejections thrown back.
- It’s not personal. Unless the other party is a complete troll or a personal enemy, the rejection is about the project, not me. If they’re a troll, I ignore them. If they are an enemy, I’ll have had other reasons for engaging them, and they will have other reasons for responding. Mostly, impersonal rejections just mean the project wasn’t a good fit. That’s good! Why would I want to work with a business or a partner who wasn’t 100% supportive of the project? Or me?
- Learn from it. If the other party has been kind enough to include why they rejected something, maybe that will give clues to either fix or amplify the problem area. ‘Fix’ is a given, if it’s a real mistake. ‘Amplify’ only means that I struck a nerve with the other party, and it might actually be a selling feature to other people.
- Was I ready to advance on this project, to begin with? Like all creative people, I sometimes think I’m ahead of where I really am. Rejections and critique from qualified professionals and astute amateurs can give me a better baseline.
- Don’t dwell on details. Once I’ve logged in the outcome to a spreadsheet and learned what I can from Point 2, I forget about that particular rejection. No means No. Anything other than Yes is still No, no matter how much it’s dressed up in form-letter blandishments or personal advice.
- It happens to everyone. J.K. Rowling just shared on Twitter some of her rejection letters for the first Richard Galbraith book. ‘For inspiration, not revenge,’ she offers. In response, many other writers and artists shared some of their rejection stories.
I think the most important point about rejections: I cared enough to try, in the first place.