I had an interesting criticism leveled at me over the holidays: someone told me I was representing myself as some sort of professional or expert at this mishmash of stuff I love. Coming from this particular person, it was not a compliment.
After I stopped laughing (not the expected response, I’m sure) I had to think it through.
The short answer: No, I don’t.
The longer answer: Really, I don’t. If I were more professional I’d still be in commercial art making 30K a year. Or in more galleries, making art that better fits current trends. Even in the genres and fields I’m most comfortable with, I am so far from being an expert that every passing year teaches me more and more stuff I did not have a clue about earlier. And I like that. It gives me goalposts to aim at.
Does this blog make me some kind of ‘professional’ or ‘expert’?
Ha ha ha ha ha. No. The Blue Night blog might average twenty-five to thirty hits on a good day. As of this posting, it has five followers. Less than fifty people actively follow me on Twitter. Around the same number may see my posts and book photos on Artist Books 3.0. As ‘Filigree’ I’ve been known but not famous as a fan fiction writer since 2000, and have been an infrequent guest poster on SFF.net since the mid nineties.
And guess what? If I had ten times that exposure, a hundred times, I still would not call myself ‘professional’ or ‘expert’. There will always be more stuff to learn. The best I can hope for is permanent journeyman status, limping along somewhere between ‘sublime’ or more likely ‘prone to pratfalls’. Because real people, real artists and writers, are constantly growing and changing. (Pssst. I’ve found that it’s often the real posers who say they’re the ultimate authority, on anything.)
I blog because I’m a moderately literate person and I got into the habit of journaling in school. This place is primarily a catch-all for my thoughts and feelings about writing and art processes as they relate to me. When I share links or observations, it’s because they worked for me, or struck me as interesting. I welcome comments, but I’d post entries and photos here even if no one but me read them later.
What little industry knowledge I have comes through working in various art fields for over twenty years, or hanging around with vastly more knowledgeable publishing and writing people for nearly as long. Being of moderate intelligence as well, I can recognize most bullshit when I see it. Likewise, when I smell smoke I can logically infer there’s a fire somewhere near.
Does that make me any kind of ‘expert’ or ‘professional’? Nope.
Due to the diligent marketing work of some amazing art agents over the last ten years, I have had modest creative success with my book arts pieces. But I’m not an expert there, either.
I sold my first novel almost two years ago. Sales have been reasonable for a debut erotic romance title, but not spectacular. Reviews are sparse, but the good ones make me smile – because they show those readers ‘got’ the way I write. I hope to do more of that writing-and-publishing-for-money thing soon, because it’s fun and it might be more profitable for me someday than it is now.
So I guess that makes me a regular person who sometimes does interesting stuff, and sometimes makes mistakes. I’m fine with both.