Or:
What happens when a fan falls out of obsession with a fandom?
In the late seventies I was a Star Wars geek largely without a support system. Which in the long run was probably better for me, since I didn’t make a fool of myself trying to gain approval from other rabid fans. Not being able to join the really active fan clubs meant that the long, involved Star Wars stories I spun in my head were my own. From that experience, I learned how to hold big stories in my head, and rework them for my own joy.
My love of Star Wars is divided by two huge demarcations, the first of which was the infamous ‘Star Wars Christmas’ special, airing on November 17, 1978. The first rule of the ‘Star Wars Christmas Special’ is that we do not talk about it. There are already Wiki pages devoted to this travesty.
I had a revelation by the time the end credits rolled: George Lucas was not who I made him out to be. Not only did he make mistakes, he couldn’t see his mistakes.
After that, while I adored the next two movies, I knew some crucial circuit had flipped in my brain. I was no longer obsessed with all things Star Wars. It’s no accident that the same month I saw Return of the Jedi, I started my first timid, spastic attempts at writing my own original fiction.
I’d been partially immunized, a gift that kept me from overdosing on the (hundreds?) of Star Wars novelizations being published. I saw Willow, and hoped I was wrong, and that it really was just another aberration. I saw Phantom Menace, and guessed that it wasn’t. I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. If that was the shape of things to come, I decided that the best thing for the Star Wars universe might well be to rip it from Lucas’s hands. (Jury’s out, Disney. You don’t have a brilliant track record of respecting original tone and worldbuilding, either!)
But out of that came my stronger and stronger forays into other fan fiction and original storytelling. I’m still grateful to Lucas and Tolkien for starting me out.
Now a dear friend of mine, already something of a Norse scholar, is at the same crossroads regarding her love for the Marvel universe’s Thor and Loki comics. The mismanaged plot and style of Thor: The Dark World so badly damaged her internal storytelling she’s starting to break away from the fandom. It’s a sad thing (her fan fiction in several universes has always been good, in the decade and a half I’ve known her.)
But she’s committing to original stuff more, now. And it’s good stuff.